How my Journey to Better Health Led me to Unexpected Places: A Reflection After Seven Years

Seven years ago, I started my journey to better health and couldn't have imagined where I would end up. It's not where you would think.

When it all Began

Let me take you back to that time in my life. I was 24 and just starting my first "real" adult job, as in 40 hours with benefits. I was excited about this new opportunity and felt it aligned with what I needed most, financial stability and room for growth. I had just left school to make time for a full-time job because I was sick of struggling to get by.

In the blink of an eye, I went from being physically active every day to sitting at a computer for 8 hours a day, sometimes not getting up for several hours at a time. I often sat on hour-long calls, working through lunch or staying late to finish my work. Not used to getting up at 3 am to get ready for work, I had very little energy for activity outside the office and often went to bed before the sun.

Soon, my back began hurting more consistently, something I had dealt with since I was a teen. I started getting frequent headaches and pain around my eyes from the strain of the computer and fluorescent office lighting. At first, I thought it was my glasses since I was long overdue for a checkup, so I got new ones. After a while, though, my discomfort began worsening and headaches became what I later learned were migraines.

Looking around the office, I saw people who had been in this type of work for 10-20 years. They were largely unhappy, unhealthy, and bitter about any young person's success- my success. I knew immediately that I wanted a different life. I wanted- no I NEEDED to be healthier.

So, I began to take my health seriously starting with returning to my yoga practice which helped my back pain significantly by counteracting my new desk job. Soon, I was going to the gym, hiking, and swimming regularly along with eating better and going to the doctor for extra support in managing my pain.

As much as I loved being active and taking care of my body, it wouldn't last. What I didn't know at the time, was that my body was already dysregulated and the stress of my job and life, only added to the new physical stress I was putting on my body. It turns out that what I needed most was rest and emotional regulation strategies.

Feeling Alone and Looking for Answers

Within a year of starting my new job, I was experiencing chronic migraines, nausea, pain in my back and neck, and a nervous system so out of sorts that I was always anxious and highly emotional. I would go to bed with headaches and wake up with them too. It seemed like I couldn't get any relief. Soon, it started to affect my work, no matter how much I tried to keep up. Unfortunately, this only added to the stress.

Eventually, I had to stop most physical activity and start searching for answers. I felt so lost, I would think to myself 'How was a "healthy" lifestyle making me so unhealthy?' I tried everything to manage the pain. Any medication or tool I could get my hands on, from over the counter and prescription medications, to naturopathic medicine and supplements but no one was taking me seriously and nothing seemed to be working. The people who I thought were supposed to be helping me, mostly disregarded my pain. This hurt tremendously and caused me even more distress.

Seeking treatment and answers felt like another full-time job. I felt isolated from my friends and the activities we once enjoyed, even though they tried to reach out, I was so consumed with pain and emotional distress that I withdrew from them. I often missed work due to appointments or just not feeling well. After another year of struggling to find answers and pushing through some of the worst pain I'd ever experienced, all while trying to show up consistently at work; I was let go by the most uncompassionate manager I had ever met. She was so cold and showed very little concern for people, not just me.

When the Whole World Changed

Over the next 4 years, I experienced periods of stress and changes at my next employer.  Despite being unhappy and undervalued, I pushed through each of them and took each scenario as a learning opportunity to overcome. The most traumatic and stressful time of my life just so happened to overlap with the start of the Covid-19 pandemic.

Without going too far in detail of that time, I was dealing with serious health issues from multiple family members while living 1,500 miles away. Unable to be with my family during this time, let alone any of my local support system, left me heartbroken and unable to cope. My nervous system spiraled out of control, I was unable to sleep and I often cried multiple times a day. Somehow, I managed to get through this difficult time, not without emotional scars or damage to my reputation at work.

I have since learned so much about what went wrong in my body to experience so much turmoil and stress, and what I can do differently. Now, I practice regulating my nervous system often, allowing time for guilt-free rest, committing to my self-care, attending regular doctor appointments, and my pain management clinic where I receive trigger point injections, massage, and chiropractic care regularly.

I'm often learning about trauma and healthy coping mechanisms, stress management, gentle movement, advocating for myself as a young patient, and recognizing what my body needs without judgment. Most of these practices are recorded in my journals which have helped me to remember them and reflect on them often. Along the way, I learned many lessons but I will highlight three key points;

#1 Lesson Learned

It is not selfish to put yourself first when your body is in a highly dysregulated state. In fact, this is essential for moving through these emotions.

#2 Lesson Learned

It is okay to need and ask for help and you do not need to feel shame or guilt for doing so. If it wasn't for my best friend, I'm not sure that I would have learned this one. She helped me see that what I was going through didn't mean I had to deal with it alone, and to lean on my loved ones.

#3 Lesson Learned

Listen to your body and try to give it what it needs- more often than not, your symptoms are the body's way of trying to tell you something. Much like a craving tells our brains that the body is missing a key nutrient, pain signals and dysregulated emotions in the body are telling us that something needs tending to.

Redefining Wellness Through Chronic Illness

Now, over seven years later, I still see multiple doctors and take a fair number of medications every day- and that's okay! I have since found providers who believe me and work with me to find what helps me manage my symptoms. I certainly couldn't have done any of this without first, learning how to adapt to life with my chronic illness. My perspective eventually shifted from becoming healthy (free of illness) to wellness (taking care of my body) and what that looks like for me.

For me, wellness is:

• Gentle movement

• Mental health support

• Medications/ supplements

• A good support system

• Self-care practices

• Mindfulness/ meditation

• Hobbies/ Passions

• Spirituality

• Education to understand my condition

• Accessible nutrition

Each of the items I listed above are adaptable to fit each unique situation for anyone else who struggles with a chronic condition. They are meant to offer support without guilt, shame, or judgment and are specially designed for ease on low-energy or high-pain days. Keep this in mind when you are thinking about your own wellness. What can you do, even on your lowest energy days? Keep it simple.

A New Outlook on Life

If someone had asked me, seven years ago, where I would be now I would not have imagined that I would be building a community for chronic illness warriors, like myself, and I certainly wouldn't have expected that chronic illness would be something I am dealing with. But here I am, living with it and learning to thrive.

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With love,

Keely